A little girl was tragically killed yesterday. It hit most of the wire services. I have no doubt that she was a innocent soul. My condolences go out to her family.
All of her family.
Her adoptive father is a person in the public eye, the story of the girls death made the news. I’m sure this is no comfort to her family, and I am sorry that they have to deal with this in the public eye. Being well known can carry with it a heavy price. Having no choice but to grieve in public must be a terrible experience.
Others will grieve with the Chapman family. The fans, those that knew nothing of her father’s music that simply read a very sad story in their newspaper, and those that know the family personally. And maybe a few others, if they know.
Somewhere far away, a woman who may only have hopes that her child found a better life, is thinking of her. She’ll have no way of knowing what happened.
Would she want to know what happened to her child? I don’t know. Given the choice between hope and a terrible confirmation of tragedy is a thing she most likely will never have to deal with. Maybe it’s for the best.
Would she be understanding if she of the tragedy that befell her child? I think so. She knows that life can be an unpredictable and cruel thing. She know that there are no good explanations for awful things that happen.
Again my condolences to all members of this girl’s family, if they know it or not.
12 comments
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May 22, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Debi
it brings to mind all the times first moms have said it is better to know then to not know whether my child lived or dies.
This is tragic on so many levels..
May 22, 2008 at 7:47 pm
addiepray
Debi,
I know I’d want to know. I’m probably relating this to the death of my own first mother. Knowing that she was gone was some kind of closure for me. A painful closure, and certainly not the one I had wanted, but a closure.
It’s better that I know, but I lost a certain kind of hope.
Hope, false hope, closure.
We’ll never know what she wanted either, I guess.
May 22, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Kippa
{{{Addie}}}
May 22, 2008 at 8:29 pm
addiepray
Thank you Kippa.
May 23, 2008 at 1:18 am
dealornodeal1965
Can you guys not lay down your own agendas and think about this family for one moment. Allow this family to mourn with out interference.
Please. Let them have this last chance with that precious baby.. To grieve for her. She was their life and they loved her dearly.
This needs to be about the Chapman’s. Please!!
May 23, 2008 at 2:11 am
Amyadoptee
No I will not lay down my agenda. I feel for that mysterious mother who will cry and mourn the loss of this child too. She is just as much a daughter to that woman as she is to the Chapman’s. Honor both families. Then I will lay down my agenda
May 23, 2008 at 2:24 am
Theresa
She’s not an agenda – she’s a mother.
Thank you for posting this Addie.
May 23, 2008 at 4:28 am
Marsha
Not one but two sets of parents lost their child when Maria Sue died. One set who will grieve, very painfully, over the death of their daughter, and one set who may never have the chance to know what happened. I think its important and appropriate to remember both sets of parents and I do not think it is offensive to mention that the Chapman’s were not the only parents, nor does it detract from their grief. I don’t think Addie was out of line at all. If I had died as a child, I hope someone would’ve remembered my (first) mother had lost her daughter too. Someday little Maria Sue’s parents might have the ability to search for her, only to find she died so young. Its just a tragic tragic situation for all involved. My thoughts go out to everyone mourning the loss of this little girl, and those who would be if they had the opportunity to know.
May 23, 2008 at 3:12 pm
addiepray
dealornodeal,
You seem to be the one bring an agenda to this post.
Shame on you.
May 24, 2008 at 1:27 am
Mei-Ling
[This needs to be about the Chapman’s. ]
We never said it *wasn’t* about them. But that girl’s original mother is her mother too. That mother loved that little girl too and wanted her to have a good life, JUST like the Chapmans.
May 27, 2008 at 3:23 pm
colleen
As an adoptive mother and someone who has always been a fan of SCC, I find this to be the most touching and heartfelt post at the loss of this little girl. The first mother is NOT an agenda, she is part of the child’s life and existence and deserves that respect. Addie, knowing how you feel about his adoption politics makes this post especially moving.
June 4, 2008 at 6:13 am
kim kim
Dealornodeal – stupid name – as Theresa says, she’s not an agenda she’s a mother. Addie, I was thinking about this too, I was wondering about her mother and suspect she will never know that her daughter is dead. That form of adoption is so in need of modernizing.
My heart goes out to the Chapman family , it must be so terrible for them too.
I think it’s disgusting that no mention was made of the child’s first mother in all this, as though she doesn’t exist and doesn’t matter. First mothers are still invisible. We are the “agenda” the taboo subject. If we are raised as a subject it’s seen as bad manners.