Crap! I was supposed to be thankful for something…

Link’s right here…..Mr. Linky thingie , or you can go here, where it will tell you what I was supposed to be doing like last week….Grown In My Heart.

 

I guess I had better start with folks not getting too upset with me when I am late.

Yep we’ll go with that.

 

I’m also thankful for, in no particular order…..

My husband’s patience.

My friends support.

Places that I can say whatever I want.

Good fitting boots.

That cats sleep sometimes.

National Adoption Month is almost over.

I didn’t have to work on what may the last 60 degree day this year.

Availability of Mexican Coca-Cola.

Old friends with new tricks.

My attitude problem.

And lots and lots of other things.

 

I’ve been Around, Just Not Around Here…

I just finished up an interview with Bert Ballard, editor of Pieces Of Me; Who Do I Want To Be?, the mucho fabulous book that I have an essay in.  Buy early, and often, it’s just perfect for everyone on your holiday list.  Seriously, it is a good book, not all happy-dappy, like you’d expect.  Go get one.  It should be showing up on Grown In My Heart any time now.  I’ll let you know when it’s up, and share my thoughts here a bit later, maybe.

I’ve got a post going up there about National Snake Oil Adoption Month too.  Look for it on the 26th.

Oh yeah and they have a Carnival thingie on the 28th, me and all the gals will be sharing what we are grateful for.  this promises to be diverse, I’m sure.  Please feel free to participate too.  We need to represent as adult adoptees.

Other than that, making cassoulet for Thanksgiving, because it’s so traditional.

I’m worn out.  I’ll get something more substantial up soon.

Here’s a funny LOL cat….

Thanksgiving and Mother-in-Laws

My a-mom always plans her Thanksgiving dinner around Sharon.  Her name is always spoken with quiet reverence, and her wishes are always catered to.  She decides what time dinner will be, and the menu will consist of.  If  she has a last-minute change of plans, everything changes with her.  She is the determining factor in every decision about our Thanksgiving holiday.

Who is this Sharon?  The matriarch of our family?  An aging relative whose presence is anticipated by all?  A celebrity who must fly in from great distances to join us?

Nope.  She has never attended a single Thanksgiving dinner at my a-mom’s house.  In fact, I’m not sure if she has ever been inside my a-mom’s house.  She’s my sister’s mother-in-law.

I don’t usually care that everything is arranged around Sharon’s plans, but this year it kind of got to me.  As I mentioned above, Sharon is very much revered by my a-mom.  She puts extra special emphasis on her name, as in, “I spoke to SHARON about Thanksgiving…..”.

Like Sharon had Oprah on hold on the other line and took time out of her fabulous day just to speak to her.  This year, I had a problem.  I told a-mom that I wasn’t sure if we were going to be able to make Thanksgiving or not.  My husbands father is ill, and I’m just not making any plans right now.  My husband’s parents are older than mine, and they are getting to the point that they need some care.  I’ve told my a-mom that they have had some issues in the past.

A-mom then asked me if Juanita still drove.  My mother-in-laws name is not Juanita, not even close.  I’ve been married for 26 years, and I don’t think my mother has ever got her name right once.  For years she called her Margaret, that’s a bit closer, but not quite it.  I corrected her for about the first 10 years of my marriage, then I just kind of gave up.  It wasn’t like she was calling up my mother-in-law to make her own thanksgiving plans.

Somehow my mother-in-law just never had the sway over a-mom that Sharon did.

I’m not going to Thanksgiving at her house this year.  Though my husband understands about my a-mom, I’m not going to put him through that.  I can just hear it now, after I’ve told a-mom that my husband’s father is ill, that my mother-in-law hasn’t driven for years, that they are coming to a place where they may not be able to be independent anymore, “How are Jim and Juanita, are they still in Texas?”

Wrong names.  Wrong state.

I don’t want him to have to answer that.

Adoption Insurance

No longer available…

http://www.adoptionassurance.com/home.aspx

Makes one wonder why.  Well, not really.  Though I do wonder who’s bright idea this was in the first place.

I don’t think you can insure against the actions of a specific person.  Unless they are an employee.  But then I suppose you’d have to form a corporation in order to adopt.

Oh hell, that’s next.  Forming corporations in order to adopt.  Sounds all warm and fuzzy and rainbow farty, doesn’t it.  Adopted by a corporation.

I’m still searching to see if extended child warranties are still available.

Sacred Cow Tipping and True Crime

I made the mistake of discussing adoption with one of the uninitiated recently.  I always do that, you’d think that I would have learned by now.  Anyway, after I related some of my experiences she remarked that it sounds something more like  a true crime story than the fuzzy wuzzy experience of adoption.

No shit, Sherlock.

She seemed to think that instead of bringing up all of the things that are wrong with adoption, and how adoptees are perceived we should be looking for answers and comfort.

Again, no shit.

Answers and comfort would be wonderful.  Folks having a complete understanding of the whole adoption thing would be great, no argument here.  But I guess that it is all too shocking for the non-adopted to wrap their head around.

Guess what?  It’s pretty hard for us to wrap our heads around too.

Exactly how are we to be comforted when we talk about lack of medical history?  Patting us on the hand and assuring us we probably won’t die of some cancer that could have been easily found and treated if we had known to test for it, doesn’t really cut it.

Just exactly what are we supposed to be told when somebody assumes that we were so much better off because our adoptive folks could afford a pool in the backyard?   Can you imagine anyone casually debating what a non-adopted person’s childhood might have been like if they had been raised in lesser circumstances?

How do you make it OK to be abandoned?

Should the fact that we turned out to be attractive people make up for not growing up with anyone that looked like us?

Is there a greeting card for those that are denied basic human rights by the states we pay taxes too?

Yes, it’s shocking, a little unsettling, and smacks of true crime.  To hear adoptees speak can sound like way too much information, but that’s what we’ve got.

I do find it very interesting that this woman chose the phrase “true crime”.  As if we the adoptees, the innocent little babies, are the criminals.   Are we vandals for tipping the sacred cow of adoption?

Should we charged with a misdemeanor or a felony?  Does one generally serve time for tipping sacred cows?  Would sacred cow tipping be considered a property crime?  If more than one person is involved, does it become a conspiracy?

 

Some folks are getting it, The Donaldson Institute has a very interesting report out.  It’s focused on international adoptees, but makes very good points for all of us.

 

Wolves, Lakes, Fear, and Boobs

Overheard, “Lakes are like boobs, if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.”  This prompted by a print of wolves by lake.  A print that will be given away.  A print that my husband is in danger of winning, even though he didn’t agree with the commenter’s observation about boobs.

Just another reason to live in fear.  What would I do with a print of five wolves (my husband counted them) by a lake?  I can’t put it in a garage sale, somebody that knows we won it would see it.  I can’t re-gift it.  My family has decided to not give gifts for Christmas this year, and I wouldn’t give that thing to anybody I actually liked.  I can only hope that I don’t win this thing.

I just can’t figure out if I should wish for luck, in the sense I’ll be lucky not to win this thing, or start buying lottery tickets because I feel a lucky streak coming on.

I know that fear of bad art is a small fear, but it’s an annoying one.

In other news, it’s still National Adoption Month.  And I have an essay out in the new book PIECES OF ME;  WHO DO I WANT TO BE?.  Check it out.

 

National Adoption Month

Yep, it’s that time of year again.  Right after Halloween, and before the holidays get cranked up.  How I love it.

BTW, about Halloween, a good half of my trick-or-treaters were taller than me, and I’m not a short woman.  What is up with that?

So kids, what should we do for Adoption Month?  Any ideas?  I see Bethany Christian Services has already won the Demons of Adoption award, that’s a start.  How about we all get together and TP them?

I’m taking any suggestions.