In and Out of Sync

Yesterday was a rough one. David’s death has been a catalyst for lots of other things. Sometimes loss paralyzes people, sometimes it makes them frantic. Most people experience periods of both. When the folks who cared deeply about the person lost aren’t in sync in their periods of paralysis and excess activity it can be hard.

There are folks that always seem to be in sync with each other, no matter the situation, or how much time has passed since they last saw each other. It was that way with David and a friend of his. They were friends as children, extremely close as teenagers though they lived far from each other, and constant companions in young adulthood. Their lives took different directions and communication was just here and there as they got older, but when they were together, it was as if they were never apart. They were true friends.

I think he probably cared about David as much as any one in the world. His grief breaks my heart. He was my friend too and I hate to hear the pain in his voice. Grief is a strange thing, you don’t just grieve for the one that’s gone, you grieve for the loss others feel.

He’s coming to see me today. It’s going to be hard, but I hope he finds some closure, peace, or whatever he can. I hope I can help.

For some reason this song always makes me think of him. He’s a real what you give kind of guy.

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7 thoughts on “In and Out of Sync

  1. I grieve for the both of you. I know both of you grieve with the loss of David. I wish that I could do something to help you. You have been wonderful to me. I love you more than words can even say. I would not want you to suffer, Addie. It is agonizing to know that you are going through this. I wish you peace love joy and happiness.

    • Damnit, Addie, I just found out. I will say how sorry I am to hear of your loss, but it sounds so trite to utter those words. As adoptees, the loss is just that much harder and the hole in our hearts become that much wider. We don’t open up to many and when we lose the ones we do give our secrets to, it’s horrific.

      True friends will allow you to become a rambling, incoherent idiot for days on end. I hope you have a few of those.

      In the end, we are strong frigging warriors. This loss will be stored with the others that we have endured, and it will add to our strength. Until then, know that i am thinking about you deeply and dearly!

      Eun Mi

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