I’m coming up on 5 months since I lost David, I’m in the middle of mid-terms, and my birthday is next week. That’s right, I’m a stressed out widowed adoptee just about to have a birthday. Folks who know what this means are already looking for something to crawl under. So in lieu of felonious assault, here are my fuck yous for the year..

The Forty-sixth annual Fuck You list…

The Medical Community-no explanation needed, but I’m going to bitch a bit anyway. I do not give a damn if you will never pay off your student loans, that you are not allowed to practice as you wish, or construction on your new summer home is six months behind schedule, you fucked up and fucked up bad. Not only did you lose one, so did I, and a whole lot of other people. Your decisions effect lives, forever, at least you could try not to be an asshole about things. Oh and quit billing my husband’s worthless estate for killing him.

The Funeral Industry-again no explanation required. I hate everyone of those fuckers. You can take your fake sympathy and shove it up your ass.

The Greeting Card Industry-I’m fucking well aware that I’ve lost someone, thanks for putting on the front of a card to remind me. Is this supposed to make me feel better? Widow pro-tip for my readers, don’t send sympathy cards, send friendship cards. The sentiments of some greeting card writer are not comforting. Poets and Jesus may care, but you can’t buy it for $2.75.

The Greeting Card Industry Again-Like I said my birthday is coming up, and I have to pick out birthday cards for a couple of adoptee friends today. I’m thinking they aren’t going to have anything that expresses my true sentiments of “Gee sorry about this day that brings up all your abandonment issues, but you’re my friend, and I want you to have a good day anyway.”

The Adoption Industry-Duh.

Facebook-Really? What the fuck dude? ‘Nuff said

The Entertainment Industry-This has to be the worst year yet for adoption themed movies, television shows, and any other thing they can throw at us. I got so goddamn tired of not being able to watch a pissing thing without the fucking wonder of adoption being thrown in my face this year, I told DirecTV to take a hike. I’m much happier. Thanks. And don’t even get me started on “still young woman loses her husband and goes on to make a life for herself” bullshit. Yeah it happens and it’s happening to me, but for fucks sake, it’s not one bit inspirational and being widowed doesn’t make me a goddamned saint. The whole let’s make the character widowed instead of divorced so we all know she’s a good girl thing makes me want to clean out the china cabinet with a baseball bat. Fuck you, my trauma didn’t cleanse me.

Verizon Wireless-Talk about profiting on death. They really need to have a recently widowed plan. I think I might have spent as much money with them as it cost to bury David in the first three months after he was gone. Fuck you.

David-Yeah, David. Fuck you for leaving me. Fuck you for not being here to take me out to dinner when I finish up my mid-terms. Fuck you for leaving me the mess of your life to clean up. Fuck you for not being late with my birthday present this year and wrapping up a picture of whatever you just got around to ordering me. Fuck you for loving me. Fuck you for dying.

I’m going to stop for now, but I’m not done.