Free Haitian Orphan With Every Order

Update 2/2/10

It’s been brought to my attention that the link I gave for Safe Families Haiti does not match the text I quoted.  That’s because the site I pulled that text from has been taken down.  But luckily it’s available in cache..

The site they don’t want you to see.

I’d like to thank my commenter Jill for pointing it out to me.

If you read through the enteries you’ll find all kinds of interesting craziness.

Gee, I wonder why they took that down?

In my place somewhere in the middle of the adoption world, I get to explore many different perspectives on every issue.  Things bubble up, points are made, and very little ever seems to change. This has intensified in the last few days, just this morning I found these on my Twitter feed.

First an organization called Safe Families Haiti, whose mission is stated as…

Safe Families is a network of Christian families that extend a safety net to children by providing at-risk families a sanctuary where they can place their children in a time of crisis. As a voluntary, non-coercive alternative to the state child welfare system, SFFC temporarily relieves parents from the responsibility of caring for their child and provides them time to address life issues without the fear of losing custody. Children are cared for by volunteer host families that are screened, trained, and serve to demonstrate Christ’s transforming love.

..seems to be looking for anyone who wants to take a Haitian child.  Here’s their website..

www.safe-families.org

Sounds OK, right?  A bit churchy, but non-coercive, and temporary.  Just what may be needed while families of Haitian children get their lives back in order after a terrible disaster.

Wrong.

Their next message reads like this….

Because of the response of families who desire to adopt children, we no longer need families who are interested in temporary housing. We are looking to place all children we receive with families who are considering adoption.

So I guess it’s just to hell with the temporary stuff, and you get to keep the kid.

All kinds of problems there.

But as I said, I’m in the middle, so I got this on my Twitter feed too.

Whites Make Pact With God, Expedite Haitian Adoptions

http://outlandishremarks.wordpress.com/2010/01/19/whites-make-pact-with-god-expedite-haitian-adoptions/#comment-54

Reading that, if not really changing anything about the situation, made me feel better.  I’m not just imagining this becoming some kind of free-for-all for ravenously entitled PAPs.

And you know what the really bad thing is? The above blog is about folks who were already involved in the process of adopting from Haiti.

Just think of the kids who weren’t matched, who won’t have any paperwork, who might have families that will come looking for them, and find nothing.

What is wrong with people? Folks can’t just help a kid out?  They have to get to keep them?  That’s hardly selfless, or well thought out.

Money, Money, Money

Seems that the economic downturn hasn’t hurt executive compensation much in the adoption business.  Check this out…

Pound Pup Legacy Adoption executive Compensation

1.3 million?  Yep, you read that right 1.3 million dollars a year.  He must have found homes for lots lots of babies.  I wonder if that includes commission?

Unless you are an up and coming young executive in the baby broking business, every single person involved in adoption should be livid at these salaries.

Ten Things I Wish I Knew Before I Was Touched By Adoption

This is my contribution to the Grown In My Heart Adoption Carnival.  Get in on it too, right here.  Use the Mr. Linky thing.

Go on, you know you want to.

First, I wasn’t touched by adoption.  The only folks ‘touched by adoption’ are random viewers of Adoption Stories or some other heart-tugging-ain’t-adoption- great TV show.  People are touched by the stories of others, or possibly an uncle, but not adoption.  Adoption consumes, completely immerses, one drowns in adoption.

Since I did not have the ability to speak before I was touched, threw into, drown by, adoption, I am going to take on the persona of an annoying talking babies in those god awful John Travolta-Kristie Alley movies.  I’m sure some folks found those touching too.

1. Mom, I’ll never see you again.  Once you let go of me, I’ll be gone forever.  When you sign those papers I’ll be an orphan.  You certainly have more faith in this world than I do.

2. Mom, I’m going to look a bit like you.  It would be really nice to have that reference point as I’m growing up.  I’m never going to see anyone in real life that looks remotely like me until I’m almost 40 years old.  My confidence is going to be effected by this.

3. Mom, I’m never going to know who my dad is.  It’s  kind of  a  big deal for me.  You said you wanted to give me up to save me from “the stain of illegitimacy”, that doesn’t bother me as much as not even knowing who’s bastard I am.  BTW, everybody is going to assume I’m stained by illegitimacy as soon as they know I’m adopted for the rest of my life.  You aren’t saving me from anything.

4. Mom, I’m going to be spending ever summer Sunday for a couple of years about a mile from where you live, in about 33 years.  I wonder if you’ll see my picture in the local paper with my racing trophies?

5. New Mom and Dad, I’m not a blank slate.  Sorry.  Just wanting me to be like you won’t change a thing.  I am what I am.

6. New Mom and Dad, I do not have colic.  I just want to go home, where ever that is.

7. New Mom and Dad, You are going to have other children in a few years.  Children of your own.  Children that will be like you.  Do you still want to go through with this?  There is a whole list of other folks who will take me.  I won’t be hurt.

8. Lawyer, You might want to put a note in my file that this stuff will be “of use” to me in the future.  Your son, who will be the judge in this district someday, is going to tell me that there is “nothing of use to me in this file”.  He is going to be wrong.  Besides, I’ll find out anyway.

9. Governor, make my records available to me.  I am in the care of your state now.  You are going to see that I’m given to people to raise me to adulthood.  I’m going to pay taxes and vote for your successors.  I deserve to know what is going on now.

10. Mom, New Mom and Dad, Lawyer, Governor, Everybody Else, I am going to be alright.  A bit worse for the wear of all this, but alright.  It would have been a lot easier on me if you had listened to me now.


I’m Not Avoiding Anything

I’m not avoiding anything, goddammit.

So what have I been up to lately?

Well I haven’t been avoiding stuff, that’s for sure.

I roasted and froze 48 quarts of tomatoes.

I did a complete repositioning of a category of items at work.

My laundry is caught up.

I did this to my lawn mower….

003

My house is clean

I finished all 3 books I was reading.

But I’m not avoiding anything.

I’m headed down to the city tomorrow for full day of distraction.  Art show, car show, dinner at my favorite restaurant.  Heck, I don’t even have time to think.

And that’s good.

Because I just don’t want to think about how I felt as sat in this very chair 2 years ago.  I don’t want to think about how I felt the very next day when I knew I’d never be anything but the little difficulty that went away.

I don’t want to think about why I waited too long.  I don’t want to think about why I’m still sitting here, waiting again.

I’m going to have to think about it soon.

But not today.

Orphan Art Imitates Life

Why do you think that a movie like orphan got made in the first place?  Do you think that adoptees, orphans, foundlings, whatever you want to call us weren’t perceived as creepy before?  Don’t fool yourself.

Horror movies at their very heart are morality tales.  They work on appealing to our sense of order.  If something isn’t quite right, all hell can break loose.  That is the hook.

Horror works on universal fears.  The thing in the dark, the thing we don’t know, the thing in close proximity.  Orphans always work because they are all of those things.  We come from, if not a bad place, many times an unknown place.  We are born one thing and are expected to be another.  We are by our births and or abandonment, changelings.  That it is a bit creepy cannot be denied.

The movie Orphan is not playing to anything new.  Orphans are perceived as being not right, weird, something that needs to be fixed.  If they were not there would be no such thing as adoption.

I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I’m certain that it doesn’t differ from most other movies of the genre.  It’s good versus evil.  Most likely good intentions versus evil, and that’s the really scary part.  Especially for adoptive parents, I think.  It plays to their most basic fears concerning adoption.  What if good intentions can’t make it right?  What if they fail?  What if the orphan remains an orphan?  What if good really can’t fix evil?

As to the adoptees, the orphans, the foundlings that are upset by this preception, too bad, so sad.  Make no mistake, to some degree you are stuck with it.  We are different.  We do come from an unusual place.  This will always be perceived as somewhat creepy by some.  We do interfer with the general sense of order.

But it is just a movie.  Little Esther is no more real than Frankenstein.  She’s no more real than Damien, than Rhoda, than all the things in the dark.  She’s no more real than the foot steps in the hall that wake you at night.  She is just a figment of our collective imagination.

How powerful can that be?