Jesus, Take The Wheel

I don’t care if it rains or freezes,

as long as I have my plastic Jesus

In other parts of the interents there has been some discussion on where the money that perspective adoptive parents pay agencies goes. Monies spent on advertising was a particular point of discussion, the sums spent by Bethany more specifically. Bethany is a part of Catholic Charities and I assumed their access to resources was vast, I did some research and was correct. The sheer amount of dollars involved mad me wonder where all the revenue came from, it was more than that from the admittedly large sums paid by perspective adoptive parents could ever account for. I did some more digging and this is what I found.

Bethany does get monies from the Catholic Church that had made up for much of their revenue until recently. It seems with the death of John Paul 11, and his charisma along with him, donations are down. Pope Benedict XVI with his German sensibility about money has come up with a novel solution to revenue problems, not just for Bethany, but all Catholic Charities, Vale Added Production Based Fund-raising.

Bethany being at the cutting edge of social services and having a good ear on the street has come up with a novel solution of their own that showcases Benedict’s vision for the future of raising revenue for good works. Plastic dashboard Jesus farming.

Bethany’s program encompasses all facets of their charitable foundation. From the orphans in Guatemala who literally plant the seeds of faith in the plowed up fields that once were their playgrounds to the recipients of good works who seek to pay back those that helped them with their stands at flea markets. Bethany employees at the many US offices even get into the act, setting up and selling from cardboard display stands that they designed themselves.

The Home Grown Plastic Jesus program seeks to offer the highest quality protection from vehicular mishaps to the faithful. Agronomist from top universities were called upon to develop a hardy fast growing hybrid Saviour statuette, that compromised nothing in holy protection. Different strains were developed and tested, the little Sons of God had to be tolerant of conditions and soils in some of the poorest countries on Earth. Not only did this mark a great advance in effigy agriculture, but a hands up to the communities that would grow them. “It was all worth it when I saw the look on the kids faces at the orphanage when the Jesus’ began to sprout.” said one researcher who had worked on the project.

Marketing efforts are now underway in Western Europe and the United States. One Akron, Ohio gas station owner is quoted as saying, “I can’t keep the little fellows in my store, everybody wants one.” The Home Grown Jesus will be available in many gift catalogs next year.

It seems that the future of faith based fund raising has come into the 21st century.


8 thoughts on “Jesus, Take The Wheel

  1. Just found your blog, and while I don’t tend to read many, think I’ll bookmark yours. Your intelligence, compassion, anger and subtle (and not so subtle) wit makes my day (and coming from a certified smartass, that’s not that easy to do)!

    Thanks, from a fellow adoptee.

    Eun Mi
    korean adoptee

  2. Yes, Joy Cool Hand Luke is a good movie. I wonder what brought that up? teeheee

    Eun Mi and Wanda, Hi!

    I’m not sure where to get one, maybe one of the shops on Rodeo Drive, there was a picture of Bradgelina with one in the National Enquirer.

  3. This is a song:

    Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus,
    Riding on the dashboard of my car,
    Plastic Jesus has to go,
    Inteferes with my ra-dio,
    Plastic Jesus really has to go.

  4. I think I’ll start a business growing and selling the Magnetic Mary model. Cheeky little unwed mother that she was, it would be a great way to save all the mothers from the adoption agencies. I can sell ’em to PAPs and tell them it’s a good luck charm for finding “b___mothers.” Heh.

    I don’t care if it’s dark or scarey,

    ‘long as I got Magnetic Mary

    Riding on the dashboard of my SUV

  5. Julie,

    Now that’s what I’m talking about, seizing the moment, taking initiative, making the world a better place, while making piles and piles of money off of the emotionally needy.

    I see a bright future for you in the world of adoption.

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