The Great Scent Of Pine

My A-mom just stopped by the store. She was carrying a can of air freshener. Pine scent.

“Everything going okay?” Followed by a lasso throwing like spray above her head.

“I bet you are getting tired. I wish you could get out of here more.” Arm fully extended, back and forth motion, as if watering the lawn.

“How’s the house coming? I do need to get over there and see it.” Arm above the head as if swaying to music at a concert.

By this time I was seriously worried about being overcome by the scent of the Great Northwest.

This is nothing out of the ordinary. It’s not always air freshener, but it’s always something.

I retreated from the fresh clean scent of pine to greet my a-Father. He was walking down the aisle of the store he loves, always looking for something to point out that needs to be done. “Mom’s in the back with the air freshener.” I say.

“Why the hell do you think I had to get out of there?” he answers.

We are in complete understanding.

This is a pretty good picture of my a-folks.

They aren’t bad folks. Once you get past the great clean scent of pine, and the grouchiness, their intentions are good. As we have all aged, I’ve come to see that.

No matter how much I dislike the institution that brought us together, I really don’t dislike them.

I can’t say I understand them, or they me, but they have always tried. I have tried too, I think I “get” what they are about now. It’s been a long road, and I’m sure we all wish it had gone smoother, but I we do agree it really is all about the journey. They’ve been with all this way, I wouldn’t know what to do without them.

I do wish Mom would get off the air freshener kick though.

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13 thoughts on “The Great Scent Of Pine

  1. OMGoodness.
    Is you a-mum trying to single-handedly destroy what is left of the ozone layer???? Or do you just smell?????
    The things we have to deal with.
    It’s just so sad that it really takes so many years to get what you wouldn’t have needed to – if you’d been raised in the family you’d been born to.
    I get it entirely.

  2. Addie…I had to chuckle about the Pine spray. Of all the scents available, it is the one I dislike the most. I am teased greatly where I work because I once owned a home that was surrounded by pine trees of which I cut most of them down….so at xmas time, my co-workers nearly always make sure I have something in my office that smells like pine!

    I cannot relate totally to your adoption experience but I am glad you are sharing it so that others can try to understand. It really isn’t what it is painted (or sprayed) out to be!

  3. I swear I can smell the fresh scent of pine just reading your post. That’s a pretty funny obsession – I can just picture some woman walking around the grocery store spraying it – hehe.

  4. Thanks guys.

    I’m really not kidding about this, and it is funny.

    They are just very different, and don’t care what people think. That can be good and bad.

    BTW, I smelled something when I came into the store yesterday morning. Mom had somehow managed to put a pine stick-up air freshener under one of the checkstands. All I could do was laugh.

  5. This made me laugh–and think too.

    “They are just very different, and don’t care what people think.” That describes my parents EXACTLY! Though I’m sure the particularities are quite different (kinda by definition). My mom, for example would be the absolute last person to be using air freshener–they are more the inadvertant biology experiments in the kitchen kind of folks (YIKES!!!).

    The thing that makes me think is that for me these are my birthparents, so for one I probably “inherited” a fair amount of that quirkiness and “don’t care” attitude from them (I think the attitude kind of has to come, and early, as a defense mechanism, or one would have to disassociate from them). And as deeply embarrassing as they were (especially my dad, can we say Prairie Chicken imitations, complete with gestures?), I never thought that I didn’t belong with them–on a deep level. And gosh, not having that it must have been, well, I can’t say what it must have been because I’m obviously not in your shoes, but I wouldn’t think it would be easy… Though at least I suppose you don’t have the horrid flashes of thinking you’re going to turn out just lilke them–or do you secretly like the air freshener?
    Andrea

  6. Andrea,

    I think everybody, adopted or not, at some point becomes convinced that their parents are out of their minds. I think that comes about the time we can no longer recognize that others may possibly think we are out of our minds. It’s just a natural thing.

    My sister, bio-kid BTW, is so embarrassed by my parents that she will not go out in public with them. Still. She’s in her thirties. I, one the other hand, almost enjoy it, you never know what they are going to do. I think you are right about the attitude, the “don’t care” attitude may be a defense mechanism and probably one that serves those well that develop it.

    I don’t think I have turned out like them, but I’m probably not the best judge of that. We don’t see ourselves a others see us.

    Oh and that Prairie Chicken imitation, why didn’t you just you just tell people it was his Mick Jagger impression?

  7. OMG Addie, this is so familiar. My amom is crazy to the point where its embarrassing to me, but somehow amusing to everyone else. Anyhow, she used to spray me (yes me not the room) with Lysol when I was sick. Although recently I went back home and noticed she switched to febreze…

    bijou

  8. Oh Bijou, I’m sorry but I find that terribly amusing. That must have been bad. I can only imagine.

    The worst I ever got was from my b-grandmother, if you as much as coughed within hearing distance of her, you got the Vicks treatment. Vicks Vapo-Rub, on your chest, neck and up your nose, then she would wrap you up in a hot towel. It was pretty hellish. But I think the Lysol was probably worse.

  9. At least we can laugh about it today….ewww Vicks, then youd be all greasy. The worst was my a-grandmother putting iodine on my scraped knees…. like salt in the primal wound. but i guess adoptee home remdies is a topic for another post.

  10. Pingback: Let's Get Excited « kim kim’s reunion writings

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