Go To the Light, Boy

There are many things in this world that make an adoptee feel short changed.  Closed records, denial of ethnicity, the list goes on.  I wonder if these things ever end, even in the afterlife.

We’ve all heard the stories from those who have been clinically dead and revived.  The white light, the feelings of complete peace, grandma standing there with a plate of cookies.  It all sounds very nice and reassuring.

I’m not sure if I believe any of it, I am unaffiliated as faith goes.  In fact I am much more likely to believe that death is just that, death.  We don’t go on.  No part of us remains after the synapses quit firing.

But what if I’m wrong?  What if we do go on?  Is the adoptee experience unique even into our leaving this plane of existence?

I’m sure everybody gets the white light, but who’s waiting?  Do I get my dear a-grandmother or the b-grandmother I never knew?  If they didn’t know me or know about me, will they show up?  What the heck would they have to say to me if they did? Do they have to show up if they want to or not?

Will my a-relatives be able to get in to my premere in the after world?  If not, will they even be notified?  Is there a list they can sign up for?

What if I don’t want to see them?  Will I have to put up with their presence like someone that you feel obligated to invite to events in life?  Can I have them escorted out? Is there the possibility of a free for all, knock down drag out fight?  If so, would anyone get hurt?

Guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

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4 thoughts on “Go To the Light, Boy

  1. This is amusingly written, Addie, and yet the point of your post hit me like a bullet.

    Adoption is forever affecting to the adoptee. Why doesn’t anyone ever talk about that?

  2. “Do I get my dear a-grandmother or the b-grandmother I never knew?”

    Addie, it’s so eerie – but these exact thoughts have been on my mind today.

    I lost my paternal a-grandma earlier this morning. . .I had the chance to say goodbye to her before she passed and do believe that I will see her again one day. But I can’t help but think about my first family, all of my Korean grandparents, my cousins, siblings(?) and of course my mother and father. Will I see them. . . ever?

    Like Coco, this post hit me hard, too.

  3. You know this has weighed on my mind a long time too.

    I thought I was the only one, I will come get you Addie, we will start a forum in the sky.

    Yes, that is the answer, the other adoptees will come for you. We will be wearing bunny suits.

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