It’s National Adoption Awareness Month!

Or what the fuck ever they call it.

I call it a load of crap.   All month long I’m going to be assaulted with stories  how wonderful adoption is.  I won’t be able to watch the news without be subjected to some not-so-hot-shot reporter bringing me a human interest story about some sainted adoptive parents who offered a whole new life to some little waif.  Great.  Go after the hard story there scoop.  Here’s a hint, puppies are cuter, do a story about puppies next time.

I’m so looking forward to it.

It gets even better when one of my co-workers or any member of the general rabble that comes into the store, sees one of these tear jerker stories.  They are going to want to tell me all about it.  I can’t fucking wait.  I haven’t had this much fun since the 90’s when everybody who had three drinks in them thought it was their duty to tell me the latest blond joke.

They recall the feel good news story in great detail, expecting me to hang on every word.  They will invariably end up with a “Isn’t that just wonderful?” and give a sigh.   they will be very confused when I just look at them for a moment and walk away.  I just don’t have the strength this year.

So in order to just get all out of the way, for the whole bloody month, if you are one of the dolts that wants to relate their beautiful vicarious just-saw-a-thing-on-the-news extremely intimate adoption experience to me:

Screw off

Eat Me

Are you really that simple minded?

Get a clue.

Go away.

Fuck you.

Find another victim.

Get a life.

Think before you speak.

Lick me.

and finally,

imagine being made into an orphan and being expected to be grateful for it.

National Adoption Awareness Month has been sucessful in making me very aware thatI am adopted.   I’ll give whoever the evil organization that came up with this travesty that.


3 thoughts on “It’s National Adoption Awareness Month!

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