this torture that’s called National Adoption Awareness Month.
Notice it’s not National ADOPTEE Awareness Month.
It seems that some aren’t aware that we are even out here. NPR, for example took up the subject of adoptee access to Birth Certificates, without speaking to a single adoptee. Then there was the pithy OP piece by ex-author and faded hipster/hanger-on Tama Janowitz.
There seems to be something welling up among adult adoptees who have finally become tired of either being ignored or not taken in consideration in the first place. I’d say it’s about time.
We still have time to take this month back. We need to point out to those who would say that this month isn’t about us, that if it weren’t for us, this month wouldn’t exist. Make them understand the very children they are talking about will someday be adults too. Let them know they are participating in a system that will ignore the rights and sensibilities of all adopted people.
We need to make ourselves seen as an united cultural group. If we can be seen in that way, we can better speak to the injustices that we still endure. No one would deny other cultural groups the right to speak of injustices they have, or are still enduring, but it still somehow alright to ignore us. To tell us we should be grateful for our situation.
We need to let people know that we do not want pity, or a pat on the head, we simply want the same rights to our heritage as on-adopted people enjoy. We need to let them know that cooing over how wonderful it is to be adopted is at best patronizing, that this degrades us, denies us true adulthood. We need to let them know that we are in a situation that they really cannot understand. That even though we know we can’t be fully understood, that we can be respected. That that respect will come when we are truly treated as adults and full citizens.
We need to let them know that this is about us. It has to be. We are the results of Adoption.