Beep. Beep. Beep.

Is stupidity contagious? Does it happen to be going around like the flu?

I cannot believe the instances of just plain stupidity that I have seen today alone, and I’m not just talking about the internet here. In fact, I think that the internet displays a lower level of sheer dumbness than my everyday life.

I don’t think that the average person can find their way home consistently, though they seem to be able to find me every time. How does that work? Am I wearing some type of homing device that only the lacking in intelligence can pick up? Why are they so drawn to me?

Was I implanted with a device during those missing weeks when I was a newborn? That’s the only possible explanation that I can figure out. Did someone at some black budgeted government agency decide to take the experiment of adoption one step further? I was born in 1965, this was the era of cats being implanted with listening devices in order to spy on the Ruskies. Would it really be so odd that they might decide to implant adoptees in order to trace them through their lives?

The thing is, I fear this is working out about as well as other covert programs of the era. The Ruskie spying cats were seduced, wandered off, and were hit by cars. It was simply a silly bad idea that didn’t work. I wonder if I was set up to either spy on Regular Upstanding American Citizens like my adoptive parents? Did they want to know what Mr. and Mrs. America were discussing in the privacy of their own home? Did some bright young man in the CIA think that bugging the baby was a great way to do this? Were the details not quite worked out? Was I implanted with something that just sends a signal but doesn’t record, does this signal somehow attract the stupid?

I’m imagining a steady tone. Beep. Beep. Beep. Like some moron drawing Sputnik.

Is it possible?

OK, some idiot is going to think I’m serious. They aren’t going to be smart enough to read this whole thing before they hit the comment button. Could this be the draw of the implant?

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2 thoughts on “Beep. Beep. Beep.

  1. You said, “OK, some idiot is going to think I’m serious.”

    You were joking, but what makes you so certain that you don’t have such an implant? In fact, maybe — I’m not saying this is the case, but maybe that’s because I’m not allowed to say it is — just maybe you have an implant and all of the rest of us are in on it. All of the rest of is. I’m not saying that’s the case. But are you sure it isn’t?

    Just something to think about. Have a nice day.

  2. I’ve wondered the same thing because I also spent three months at an undisclosed location before being delivered to my handlers, I mean parents. I believe my late 50’s model implant has corroded with age and now picks up all kinds of interferance from cell phones, garage door openers, wireless mice, and imbeciles. Others have told me it’s just the beginning of a mild mental illness but the cat’s out of the bag now – the secret’s revealed! We are mind-control test dummies!

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