It seems that us adoptees aren’t the only ones who are orphans out there. So are the adopters.
In another desperate attempt to justify raiding the word for cute little babies, this idea has come to light. Possibly the “we were all adopted in the family of Jesus” crap wasn’t working with the less godly potential adoptive parents, so some super genius has come up with this brainwave.
The reasoning goes like this. That when a person leaves their parents home and sets off in life, they are essentially orphaned. That growing up and actually doing what is expected, makes one an orphan. It would seem that the only ones with families still in tact are the losers living in their parents basements. Everybody else is an orphan. This is supposed to show how much anyone can identify with the situation of their adoptee. Oh course a lot of fancy language and hypothetical situations were used to make it sound like something much deeper, but that’s what it distills to.
I would like to know what kind of life these morons have experienced, but it sure as hell must be an easy one to think that leaving home is at all like losing one or both parents, at any age. Getting your first apartment is absolutely nothing like having a parent die. Coming up with first and last months rent and security deposit, as hard as it may have been for these defectives, bears no resemblance to waiting to hear how the test for terminal cancer came out for dear old dad, trust me.
This justification is not only a slap in the face to anyone who has ever lot a parent, it’s just plain lame. Most adoptees are not orphans, we were simply left for others to raise, be it by coercion, need, or abandonment. No life taking event lead to our adoption. Any orphan justification does not hold up on those terms alone.
Still there are those who would wish to avoid the reality that they are raising someone else’s child with any excuse they can muster. By somehow convincing themselves that they are orphans, it makes it aright in their mind to think of their adopted children in these terms. That they would think of themselves as orphans because they are not receiving the daily care of living parents is delusional.
Are these adopters parents gone, completely out of their lives? Do they gaze at their pictures recalling times past and wishing that they could speak to them just one more time? When something very good or very bad happens in their lives to they wish that they could pick up the phone and tell their departed parents about it? Do they have to take comfort in the fact that their parents just might be looking down on them from another place? Do they recall the day they left home, presumably the anniversary of their own orphanhood, every year with great sadness? And most of all, do they wish that their children could know their grandparents?
Real orphans do.
This silly justification belittles everyone involved, not just these people’s parents and themselves, but most of all the adoptee. Though we may not truly be orphans, we have lost something. Something that these desperate people scampering for any justification for their actions could never understand.