In the comments from my last post other than being told that I needed therapy, which happens a lot, and inspiring a rather scary Halloween costume, I was asked what’s wrong with Holt.
I’m not quite sure how to answer that question. Was I being asked what is wrong with what Holt does? Was I being asked what is wrong with adoption, or international adoption in general? Was I being asked why Lillie and I approached Holt in particular?
Some of these questions are much easier to address than others. If my commenter was wondering what is wrong with what Holt does, I have to think they are wondering what my concerns are with adoption and international adoption in particular. If this is what they want to know all I can do is ask that they read the enteries here, then read the links to the left, and all the things that those that I link suggest they read. This hould give them a good idea about the problems with adoption as well as quite a reading list.
As to why Holt was approached, that’s simple. I wanted to meet my friend Lille. The Iowa State Fair worked out well. Approaching Holt came from wanting to do something for adoptee rights since that was the way that we found each other in te first place. When the trip was planned we didn’t even know that Holt was going to have a booth there. I saw an advertisement for the Holt booth when researching what was going on at the fair.
We did not have anything prepared, or any kind of grand evil plan, we just thought we would stop by and ask some questions. We had no idea that things would go as they did.
We did not expect the kind of presentation that we received. I think both of us expected to be asked to leave the booth as soon as we opened our mouths. I think both of us came a way much more shaken and disgusted than we ever considered.
I can’t speak for Lillie, but I know the things I heard and the feeling I got from this experience was much more disturbing than I could have imagined. the only thing that I could compare it to is a sales presentation. If I had not been as informed and aware of the problems inherit in adoption, I can see how I could have been taken in. If nothing else this surely opened my eyes to how easily people are drawn in to adopting.
If I had just been a lady at the fair with a friend who saw the booth and was drawn to the pictures of the children, if I had ever thought that adopting might be a nice thing to do, I might be working on filing papers with an embassy right now. That scares the hell out of me. I can’t help but think that someone with only a slightly different experience in life is doing just that.
This woman won’t know the things that she needs to know. She’ll only hear the they want her to hear. I know plenty of people who have been down this path. You’ll find a couple of them listed on my blogroll. They are good people, they are smart people, their hearts are in the right place. They are doing the best thing that they can. They aren’t much different than me.
I fear for the child that will be in the middle of all this. The child is thrown into a situation that they have no control over. Their fate is in the hands of those that are unprepared to meet the needs that they will have. They will grow up, you can see many of them listed in my blogroll. They are good people, they are smart people, their hearts are in the right place. They are doing the best they can. They aren’t much different than me.