Really Bad Titles For Adoption Books

In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month I was perusing the adoption titles available at Amazon.  I’m not planning on reading any of them and certainly don’t recommend that you do.  I just wanted to see what passed for kiddie grab lit these days.  I just have one question.  What the hell were these people thinking?  

 

A Blessing from Above  (Little Golden Book) by Patti Henderson and Elizabeth Edge

Seems to perpetuate the stork myth.  Well might as well, at least from an APs perspective, hell babies might as well grow on trees, money trees from their perspective.


The Complete Adoption Book: Everything You Need to Know to Adopt a Child by Laura Beauvais-Godwin and Raymond Godwin 

Yeah right, get back to us in about 20 years.

 

I Wished for You – an Adoption Story by Marianne R Richmond 

Well if wishes were horses….blah blah blah

 

We Belong Together: A Book About Adoption and Families by Todd Parr

Yeah, just keep telling yourself that…

 

The Complete Book of International Adoption: A Step by Step Guide to Finding Your Child by Dawn Davenport

Does it come with a map?  How about both hands and an ass?

 

Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections by Jean MacLeod and Sheena Macrae

Seems to combine adoption with DIY, interesting concept.  Did anyone tell them they can’t just pick up baby’s in front of the Home Depot every morning?

 

Happy Adoption Day! by John McCutcheon and Julie Paschkis

Do I even have to comment here?  Come up with your own.  It’s just too easy.

 

 

Adoption Is for Always (An Albert Whitman Prairie Book) by Linda Walvoord Girard and Judith Friedman

Unfortunately they are right.

 


I Don’t Have Your Eyes by Carrie A. Kitze

No, you don’t.  Duh.

 

Adoption for Dummies by Tracy Barr and Katrina Carlisle

Well that should make them feel comfortable.


Raising Adopted Children, Revised Edition: Practical Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent by Lois Ruskai Melina

Because we all know that it’s the APs who need all the reassurance. 

 

The Ultimate Insider’s Guide to Adoption: Everything You Need to Know About Domestic and International Adoption by Elizabeth Swire Falker 

Funny, I wasn’t consulted.  Guess I’m not really an insider.  

 

The Post-Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforseen Challenges of Adoption by Karen J. Foli and John R. Thompson

All I can say here is just shut the fuck up.  Please.

 


The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Adoption, Second Edition by Christine Adamec

Seems that there are lots of idiots and dummies adopting these days.  It’s a second edition, did they lose the first one?  

 

Who Are My Real Parents? by D. L. Fuller

Let me guess.  

 


All About Adoption: How Families Are Made & How Kids Feel About It by Marc A. Nemiroff, Jane Annunziata, and Carol Koeller

Please tell me ALL about it.  Especially how I feel.  I can’t fucking wait.  

 

Adoption: The Essential Guide to Adopting Quickly and Safely by Randall Hicks

Wouldn’t want to get a paper cut.  

 

Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul: Stories Celebrating Forever Families (Chicken Soup for the Soulby Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and LeAnn Thieman L.P.N

Are forever famlies subject to salmonella ?

 

So I Was Thinking About Adoption…: Considering Your Choices by Mardie Caldwell

There you go thinking again, don’t hurt yourself.

 

Launching a Baby’s Adoption: Practical Strategies for Parents and Professionals by Patricia Irwin Johnston

Isn’t baby launching still illegal in several states? 

 

Riding on Angels Wings: My Spiritual and Physical Pregnancies: The Tale of our Two Sons by Cynthia Mae Burris

There is so much here I really don’t want to know.  

 

Sasha’s Little Red Box: An Adoption Story by Sandra Jones

Hmmm…sounds dirty and not in a good way.

 

Kimchi & Calamari by Rose Kent 

No thanks, I just ate.