Poor Reviews For Addie’s Story

As most of you have noticed, I don’t write about my personal experience with adoption much here.  There is a reason for that.  I don’t know what my personal experience with adoption really is.

I know what I experienced, but I don’t know why it happened.  I’ve never assumed that I know others motivations.  Without knowing why people did things, I don’t feel like I can give an accurate account of my own experience.  

I’ve heard the stories surrounding my adoption.  They don’t make sense to me.  I know the players, the time line, the basic events.  I just don’t know their motivations.  It’s like a movie without direction.  There is a story, but there is nothing to make me care about the characters.  It comes off as one dimensional.  

There would be no Academy Award nominations for anyone involved in my adoption biopic.  The actors all seem to be totally without conviction.  They speak of desires, regrets, and deep feelings, but come off cold.  It’s as if they are only reciting.  

Maybe they had told to the story too many times before I could ask.  Maybe it was over rehearsed.  

It is hard to pull off a piece where the title character doesn’t speak.  It leaves the other characters to struggle for relevance.  It is easy for the actor to forget that it really is about them, not the title character.  They forget that it’s all about their reaction to the situation.  The title character is only a catalyst.  They approach the role not realizing that it’s an ensemble piece.  It makes for a poor performance. 

Whatever the reason, I am unmoved.  

If I had known, I would have never taken the role.


5 Days In

It’s like the first day of the year for me.  The calendar may have changed last Thursday, but today is the day that we really get back to our routines.  The holidays are finally over.  It’s good.

There is something to be said for routine.  Without routine it’s hard to shake things up.  A time of year when everybody is supposed to be doing things out of the ordinary bores me to death.  Most people are just no damn good at getting out of their regular schedules.  They don’t seem to understand that part of the deal is that everybody else isn’t going to be able to accomodate them.  Everybody is out of their own routines after all.  

So now that we are back to it, let’s do what we do.  

That’s right, do what we do.  I see no reason that we should shake thing up, make resolutions, or go on a self improvement quest just because it’s a new year.  If we want to be better, we should just be better.  The very act of declaring that we are going to do things differently seems to set us on a course for failure.  We may easily be able to live up to the expectations of others, but not those we lay out for ourselves.  

We should take it easy on ourselves this time of year when the days are still so short and the very weather can waylay the best laid plans.  As the light begins to stay longer and the atmosphere is kinder we can make change.  We need time to plan after the dislocation of the holidays.  This is a time for plotting, scheming, and meditation.  

Let’s take it one step at a time.