Adopt-a-Adoptee

Adopte-a-Highway

Adopt-a-Manatee

Adopt-a-Classroom

Adopt-a-Minefeild

Adopt-a-Microbe

Adopt-a-Grape

Adopt-a-Watershed

Adopt-a-Lemur

 

The above are all examples of good works involving adopting a variety of people, animals and things.  It seems that everyone wants to adopt something.  As valuable as these programs my be, it seems to me something is missing.  I think we should let an anxious public go right to the source and actually adopt-a-adoptee.

These programs are set up to help provide needed volunteers and funds for a good cause.  I would be willing to put a sign in my yard that designated the kind individual or organization that had volunteered to clean up and beautify my yard.  I would love to attend a banquet and auction dedicated to better the lives of myself and other adoptees by collecting money and donated gifts.

All adoptees reading please leave a breif desrciption of yourself and any needs that you have so we can get the ball rolling.  Anyone interested in adopting an adoptee, please contact me, so we can get a sign made and get you scheduled to help out.  I’ll start…

Addie is a 43- year-old adopteee who could use some help with her landscaping.  She would also appeciate any help with vacation funding as she is long over due for a holiday in the sun.  Please help.

 

Right Here.

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7 thoughts on “Adopt-a-Adoptee

  1. Theresa is a 45 year old adoptee who stresses about adequate funding for the Adoptee Rights Demonstration in Philadelphia. For less than the price of a cup of coffee a day, you can help reduce Theresa’s blood pressure and anxiety level by donating.

    She also could use some help re-washing those clothes *someone* left in the washing machine. And you know, washing the clothes means you take the wet clothes out promptly, put them in the dryer and then fold the clothes once dry. You don’t leave them sitting, only to make the most overworked person in this house find them later when she goes to do her own laundry. I’m just saying.

  2. Catherine is a 40 year old adoptee who wants to be able to give money away to groups in states that are trying to get access to OBCs. For less than the price of a lunch at McDonald’s (value meal, no $1.00 menu, cheapskate) a day, you can help many an adoptee avoid breakdowns in front of unyielding legislators.

    She also would like someone to come and rake her lawn. It is a pitiful sight right now, as no one really raked before the snow fell. Oh yes, and it would be great if someone could also organize my office. It’s a train wreck.

    Please, won’t you help?

  3. Please someone volunteer to help these 2 selfless adoptees. All they want is a better life for all adoptees.

    BTW, Addie has added that she thinks that Saks, Neiman’s, or Macy’s would be a perfect corporate sponsor. She needs new shoes. Please end the tragedy of an adopteee wearing last year’s looks.

  4. Andrea is a 31 year old adoptee who would love help funding adoptee rights groups across North America. For the price of a Tim Horton’s coffee and maple glazed doughnut you can help her achieve this noteworthy goal! To adopt Andrea please use Canuck Funny Money, it’s way cheaper than those pricey American Greenbacks!

    She would also like assistance feeding her three year old since the current economy has taken her independence, thus keeping another child far away from the adoption machine. The girl enjoys Yellow Death Kraft Dinner and Pink (cream of tomato) Soup.

    By helping Andrea you help adoptees continent wide enjoy the same rights as everyone else, as well as helping prevent another unnecessary adoption due to financial duress.

  5. P2H is a 35 yr old adoptee who barely has enough funds to feed his own starving belly. He finds scraps of crumbs on his teacher desk, and is woefully underpaid for raising over 100 children that are the future of America. If you can help, donate spare change and crumbs his way.

    He’ll also take gift cards for Dunkin Donuts coffee, and praise and adulation.

    However, Addie, you need to get to OFF Saks or the Nordstrom Rack. Great shoes and deals.

  6. Gershom is a 28 year old adoptee, single mother to two and is currently working 2 jobs. For less than the price of a Keeblers Fudge Shoppe Grasshopper Mint Cookie package a day, you can adopt this bi-racial beauty! She is very concerned about the funds for the Adoptee Rights Demonstration and prefers you just send it straight over to them (www.adopteerights.net ). She needs yard work, laundry, a good massage and likes her coffee w/ vanilla cream in the mornings (poor until its tan.) She needs new clothing, and haircut.

  7. Mei-Ling is a “younger” adoptee who is just about to graduate college and would appreciate donations to create a magic wand that will allow her to suddenly speak Mandarin fluently.

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