More Self Indulgence-Bite Me

Every time I packed a suitcase something was up. We didn’t go on vacations or visit relatives for fun or a need to be connected. The last time I had been told to get packed up, mom, my sisters, and I, had stayed in a motel in Hannibal for a week. When we came home there was a half finished swimming pool in the backyard.

The swimming pool wasn’t a good thing. My sisters and I were excited, but mom didn’t want it. Even though dad had commissioned the pool, without telling anyone, it was decided that we would teach swimming lessons to pay for it. I was the only one old enough to tech swimming lessons, and I didn’t like the water.

Now my sisters and I were going to Aunt May’s house. Mom didn’t like Aunt May, I was the only one that was allowed to stay with her. Aunt May was coming to pick us up, I knew this had to be a big deal. I wondered if my folks were getting a divorce. I was sure I couldn’t get that lucky.

I could hear my sister, Lisa, screaming from her bedroom. She didn’t want to go, she didn’t like Aunt May either. Mom was laying it down, she was going to go and she was going to take care of Cheryl. Mom never talked to Lisa like this.

I headed downstairs as soon as I saw Aunt May’s New Yorker pull in the drive. It was obvious that Aunt May wasn’t going to visit before we took off, mom wouldn’t let her get passed the entry hall. I was told to go get in the car. I sat right down in the front seat. Lisa always got to sit in the front seat, she got car sick. I knew mom would be too preoccupied to notice with actually getting Lisa in the car. I was right, she screamed, she fought, she kicked, but somehow mom got her in the backseat and managed to shut the door.

Without much in the way of conversation Aunt May got in and started the car. I pointed out that Cheryl was still standing in the driveway behind mom. Aunt May left the car running and collected her. Mom didn’t seem to notice, she just stood there waving.

Aunt May lived about 150 miles away. This was going to be a long trip. I knew Lisa would not shut up and now she was kicking the back of the seat. We had just got out of town when Aunt May stopped the car, right in the middle of the road, turned around, and told Lisa that she was going to put her out right there is she didn’t knock it off. It was effective, Lisa quit kicking and shut up immediately.

When we started moving again, Aunt May asked me if there were any good radio stations. By good I knew she meant rock and roll, so I tuned it in, and she turned it up loud. Maybe the trip wasn’t going to be so long after all.


Money, Money, Money

Seems that the economic downturn hasn’t hurt executive compensation much in the adoption business.  Check this out…

Pound Pup Legacy Adoption executive Compensation

1.3 million?  Yep, you read that right 1.3 million dollars a year.  He must have found homes for lots lots of babies.  I wonder if that includes commission?

Unless you are an up and coming young executive in the baby broking business, every single person involved in adoption should be livid at these salaries.

Ten Things I Wish I Knew Before I Was Touched By Adoption

This is my contribution to the Grown In My Heart Adoption Carnival.  Get in on it too, right here.  Use the Mr. Linky thing.

Go on, you know you want to.

First, I wasn’t touched by adoption.  The only folks ‘touched by adoption’ are random viewers of Adoption Stories or some other heart-tugging-ain’t-adoption- great TV show.  People are touched by the stories of others, or possibly an uncle, but not adoption.  Adoption consumes, completely immerses, one drowns in adoption.

Since I did not have the ability to speak before I was touched, threw into, drown by, adoption, I am going to take on the persona of an annoying talking babies in those god awful John Travolta-Kristie Alley movies.  I’m sure some folks found those touching too.

1. Mom, I’ll never see you again.  Once you let go of me, I’ll be gone forever.  When you sign those papers I’ll be an orphan.  You certainly have more faith in this world than I do.

2. Mom, I’m going to look a bit like you.  It would be really nice to have that reference point as I’m growing up.  I’m never going to see anyone in real life that looks remotely like me until I’m almost 40 years old.  My confidence is going to be effected by this.

3. Mom, I’m never going to know who my dad is.  It’s  kind of  a  big deal for me.  You said you wanted to give me up to save me from “the stain of illegitimacy”, that doesn’t bother me as much as not even knowing who’s bastard I am.  BTW, everybody is going to assume I’m stained by illegitimacy as soon as they know I’m adopted for the rest of my life.  You aren’t saving me from anything.

4. Mom, I’m going to be spending ever summer Sunday for a couple of years about a mile from where you live, in about 33 years.  I wonder if you’ll see my picture in the local paper with my racing trophies?

5. New Mom and Dad, I’m not a blank slate.  Sorry.  Just wanting me to be like you won’t change a thing.  I am what I am.

6. New Mom and Dad, I do not have colic.  I just want to go home, where ever that is.

7. New Mom and Dad, You are going to have other children in a few years.  Children of your own.  Children that will be like you.  Do you still want to go through with this?  There is a whole list of other folks who will take me.  I won’t be hurt.

8. Lawyer, You might want to put a note in my file that this stuff will be “of use” to me in the future.  Your son, who will be the judge in this district someday, is going to tell me that there is “nothing of use to me in this file”.  He is going to be wrong.  Besides, I’ll find out anyway.

9. Governor, make my records available to me.  I am in the care of your state now.  You are going to see that I’m given to people to raise me to adulthood.  I’m going to pay taxes and vote for your successors.  I deserve to know what is going on now.

10. Mom, New Mom and Dad, Lawyer, Governor, Everybody Else, I am going to be alright.  A bit worse for the wear of all this, but alright.  It would have been a lot easier on me if you had listened to me now.

Get Back Honky Cat

Seems that Elton John is the newest entrant in the Celeb Adoption Olympics.  According to the BBC, he’s looking for someone to replace his longtime keyboard player.

The singer added that the death of his long-term keyboardist, Guy Babylon, had also influenced his decision.

“Last week I lost one of my best friends; my keyboard player died of a heart attack at 52.

“It broke my heart because he was such a genius and so young and has two wonderful children.

“What better opportunity to replace someone I lost than to replace him with someone I can give a future to.”

I think Sir Elton might be jumping the gun a bit here.  That kid can’t even reach the damper pedal yet.  Wouldn’t it make more sense for him to hire an experienced key player?  Sure someone of the caliber that Sir Elton would be looking for would certainly demand a good salary, but I can’t see how training someone from the age of 14 months could be cost efficient.   I also doubt it would be timely, Sir Elton is 62 years old.  It takes a while to reach proficiency on the piano. Will Elton even be touring when the kid is finally ready to go out?  Besides there could be child labor laws involved.

As we all know, and Sir Elton should realize, adopted children do not inherit the talents of their adoptive parents.  What if this kid is completely tone deaf?  What would Sir Elton do then?  Go and get another one?  Soldier on like Sir Paul McCartney did with Linda?

I really think Elton should hold auditions rather than adopt.

Oh and there is all this stuff too.

The charity EveryChild has raised some other concerns, in this CNN article.

Something to think about.

Let say Elton decides to pass on this kid.  Will someone else want him?  Is there anyone else looking for a keyboard player?  Would the child’s life be as rich if Peter Noone or Cliff Richard decided to step in?  Heck, if we are talking about aging British musicians, how about Keith Richards?  Now that would be an interesting turn of events.

I’m Horrifying Adoptive Parents Again..

..over at Grown In My Heart.

It’s Sex and Drugs and Dear Birthmother letters for me this time.


I’m Not Avoiding Anything

I’m not avoiding anything, goddammit.

So what have I been up to lately?

Well I haven’t been avoiding stuff, that’s for sure.

I roasted and froze 48 quarts of tomatoes.

I did a complete repositioning of a category of items at work.

My laundry is caught up.

I did this to my lawn mower….


My house is clean

I finished all 3 books I was reading.

But I’m not avoiding anything.

I’m headed down to the city tomorrow for full day of distraction.  Art show, car show, dinner at my favorite restaurant.  Heck, I don’t even have time to think.

And that’s good.

Because I just don’t want to think about how I felt as sat in this very chair 2 years ago.  I don’t want to think about how I felt the very next day when I knew I’d never be anything but the little difficulty that went away.

I don’t want to think about why I waited too long.  I don’t want to think about why I’m still sitting here, waiting again.

I’m going to have to think about it soon.

But not today.