I’m not avoiding anything, goddammit.
So what have I been up to lately?
Well I haven’t been avoiding stuff, that’s for sure.
I roasted and froze 48 quarts of tomatoes.
I did a complete repositioning of a category of items at work.
My laundry is caught up.
I did this to my lawn mower….
My house is clean
I finished all 3 books I was reading.
But I’m not avoiding anything.
I’m headed down to the city tomorrow for full day of distraction. Art show, car show, dinner at my favorite restaurant. Heck, I don’t even have time to think.
And that’s good.
Because I just don’t want to think about how I felt as sat in this very chair 2 years ago. I don’t want to think about how I felt the very next day when I knew I’d never be anything but the little difficulty that went away.
I don’t want to think about why I waited too long. I don’t want to think about why I’m still sitting here, waiting again.
I’m going to have to think about it soon.
But not today.