Second Thoughts About Relinquishing Myself

As you all know I have been considering relinquishing myself to my governor, but now I’m not so sure.  It’s not that I don’t like my governor, I do, and it would be cool to be the governor’s kid.  I bet I could get into the state fair for free.  But, even with all the perks, I might be doing myself a disservice.

Since this would be a public adoption, it wouldn’t cost very much.  My states chief executive might even get paid to take care of me while the paperwork went through.  I think I’m worth more.  I think I’ll put myself up for adoption privately. Possibly internationally.

I’ll be acting as my own facilitator, oh course.  So what does a white kid go for on the international market these days? $30,000 or $40,000?  Hey for that I can throw in a collectible Barbie Doll and a teddy bear.

So if you know anyone that might be interested in a bright, fairly well behaved girl, with a smile that can light up the room and melt heats, let me know.

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10 thoughts on “Second Thoughts About Relinquishing Myself

  1. I’m game! You’ll have to forgive me being younger than you and all. Do you think it’ll work out? If not, you can always hop onto a nearby plain to Russia. Don’t worry, I would get some random car driver to pick you up afterwards, so the worst wouldn’t be so bad, right??

    ….

  2. You know, with the ages folks are adopting at these days, I kinda figured I had a shot at finding someone older, but yeah you’ll do. I’m going to need a letter of credit from your bank before we proceed.

    If maybe you could send me somewhere like Paris or Rome if you change your mind, that would be cool.

    thanks.

  3. Can’t help ya there… but I do possess, in a dark, dusty corner of my attic, that atrocious Coming Home Barbie. Do you want it? I’m happy to pass along the joy.

  4. You should make sure to point out your other highly desirable features. Like being grateful and happy to be in a forever family and stuff.

  5. Simone–almost 13–wants you. Will you play little sister? She’s desperate for one. You have to be brave and realize the family dynamics will be all screwed up with you being biologically older while acting the part of little sis, but hey, it’s adoption–settle. And it’s int’l too, as we’re in Canada.

  6. “If not, you can always hop onto a nearby plain to Russia. Don’t worry, I would get some random car driver to pick you up afterwards, so the worst wouldn’t be so bad, right??”

    I laughed so hard.

  7. T Momma, visions of deviant art are dancing through my head.

    Coco, Well yeah, you know I’m all grateful and stuff. Duh.

    O Solo Mama, Would I have my own room? And would I still be allowed to drive? Most importantly would I have to pretend to like Molson, because everybody wants a Molson swigging little sis, and I’m not sure I could do that.

  8. You’re in luck: there’s no Molson here. If you inbibe, you are free to knock back an American beer of your choosing or martini with Mother while big sis does her homework. Or there’s plenty of milk, juice, and organic gingerale.

    I’m happy to be a corrupting influence.

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