here’s a chance to have a great time reading an in depth analysis of me.
Adopto-moron talks about Addie, Jesus, and lots of other things she has no idea about.
You’ll also be treated to some really great church music.
Here are some highlights…..
How do we know? And then what should we do about it? Does all of this matter in the “big picture” of life? I’m realizing that there is a lot of controversy surrounding this topic . . . . and there a many adult adoptees who did not have that “wonderful” experience that we all strive to accomplish when we, as parents, decide to build our family through adoption. I discovered this blog yesterday, and it broke my heart. And, having raised my own four biological children before adopting Gracie and Annie, I know that biology guarantees nothing. Some children, adopted and non-adopted, grow up feeling safe, secure, loved, and cherished . . . . . and others, oftentimes in the same family and experiencing exactly the same parenting style, grow up angry, disillusioned, and frustrated with the world.
Luckily my a-parents style was much different than yours, honey.
BTW, I’m not frustrated with the world, just your little ruffly corner of it. Did you even read my blog, or just the post about that Chapman dork?
I think that sometimes people who grow up as adoptees, assume that everything in their life that was or is negative, would be different if they just hadn’t been adopted by THESE parents, or that everything would be better in their life if they hadn’t been adopted at all.
Good that you’re thinking, but you’re wrong. I’m sure you’re used to that. Actually my life’s pretty positive. I never said my a-folks were bad parents. In fac, if you read as well as you “think” you’d know that.
Has anyone ever done the assume thing with you? You know when you assume you make an ass out of you and me? Ever heard that? Guess not.
Life is difficult, no matter the circumstance.
No shit, Sherlock.
I realize there are specific issues that revolve around adoption . . . . .
Yes, and the Earth revolves around the sun. Good thinking there genius.
I was adopted by my step-father at the age of five. And I met my biological father once, when I was 17, and when I could not do what he needed me to do for him, he sent me away and I’ve never heard from him since. I don’t even know if he is still living.
Are you projecting your bad adoption experience onto me? Sure looks like it.
And we need to have great compassion for those who have suffered heartache from their experiences of adoption.
I’m really try here with you. Next time you might let me know you’d linked to me, it makes me feel much more compassionate, since we’ve established you need that.
Perhaps they will talk with me, so that I can learn how recognize the kinds of issues that cause life-long frustration and resentment. I’m an optimist!
Good for you. The world loves an optimist. Now go optimize on somebody else.
Because many children who are adopted are there because the birth parents loved them so much, that they were willing to suffer the heart break of allowing their children to leave them for a better life.
There you go assuming again, ass out of you and me, remember?
You obviously have no idea what my story is, so shut the fuck up. You stupid know it all repressed little piece of brainlesness.
It’s a serious discussion, but one which me must enter into. Adoption is about a life, a very precious individual, and we must always remember that.
Yeah it is a serious discussion and you’re obviously not ready to have it. You might try preparing yourself before you attempt to engage in a discussion next time.
Great huh?
I hope my haters have enjoyed this little interlude. I sure know I have.
Thank you for posting this, Heidi.
“Information is power, the saying goes.”
Which is one reason, among others, why adopted people deserve to have the right to information about their origins restored to them – and I use the word “restored” deliberately, because that right was eroded and eventually lost during the middle of the 20th century.
I would also like to include the opinion of Margaret Somerville, Canadian ethicist and academic. She is the Samuel Gale Professor of Law, Professor in the Faculty of Medicine and the Founding Director of the Faculty of Law’s Centre for Medicine, Ethics and Law at McGill University. She is a remarkable woman and someone to be taken seriously even where one disagrees with her.
The excerpt (below) is from a 2007 panel discussion about ethical problems relating to assisted reproductive technology, but she also relates to children’s human rights in general:
“Recently I’ve been working on children’s human rights with respect to their biological origins and biological families.
In that work I’ve argued that we must recognize that children have human rights with respect to knowing the identity of their biological parents and, if at all possible, their immediate and wider biological families; having a mother and a father, preferably their own biological parents; and to come from natural biological origins.”
She also says that “It is one matter for children not to know their genetic identity as a result of unintended circumstances.
It is quite another matter to deliberately destroy children’s links to their biological parents, and especially for society to be
complicit in this destruction.”
You can read more here:
http://www.canadianconstitutionfoundation.ca/files/pdf/The%20Intersection%20of%20Freedom%20-%20Margaret%20Somerville.pdf
She also believes that emphasis should be placed on the rights of the child, so that if an adopted person seeks disclosure of their adoption records, that information should be disclosed *whether the parent who placed the child consents or not*, because everyone has the human right to know their origins.
The reverse, on the other hand, wouldn’t necessarily hold true. In her opinion, a parent would only be entitled to information about a child who’d been placed for adoption if they consented.
“For those of you who are new to this, mandated open records ”unseal” original birth certificates of adult adopted children..”
Also for those who are new to this it might be worth noting that adoptees do not remain children all of their lives. They do become adults. For perspective should those not adopted be referred to as adult biological children, adult natural children, adult unadopted children? Sounds rather silly, doesn’t it?
I would think that even those who are new to adoption would realize that children (by definition) grow up.
It was a simple typo. Thanks for pointing it out.
Kippa:
“…having a mother and a father, preferably their own biological parents; and to come from natural biological origins.”
With regard to reproductive technology, I’d have to say that Professor (?) Sommerville is arguing against invitro and other forms of artificial reproduction, which is consistent with traditional Catholic teaching. And I fully agree that, if mandated open records becomes the norm, donor records must also be released as well. That would be simple justice — the same standard for both mother and father.
As for the final paragraph, it’s important to distinguish between “rights” and “desires.” As “Addie” pointed out, these individuals are no longer children, but adults. “Mutual consent” would seem to be the logical middle ground.
Nice try fuckwit.
here’s the second comment she refused to put up…
Comment:
Please do not presume that I would think that mutual consent would be a logical middle ground. I do not. My biological history belongs to me, just as yours belongs to you. I have as much right to know what that heritage is as anyone else.
There is no middle ground. Something that is so uniquely mine cannot be denied me, it is my right to know this.
And the response..
Frankly, it’s not my concern whether you think this is logical middle ground — you are entitled to your opinion, and the express it … on YOUR blog.
As I’ve said to Kippa, I’m not interested in prolonging the discussing about open records on my blog at this time. There are strong points of view, and frankly because each of us has formed an opinion from which we are unlikely to budge, further discussion is pointless. I’ve deleted your comment, in keeping with my comments policy.
Feel free to link and respond as you see fit … but at EMN, I get to moderate and direct the conversation as I see fit. I’m sorry if you disagree with my viewpoint.
Heidi Saxton
Author, “Raising Up Mommy” and “Behold Your Mother” (http://www.christianword.com)
Founder, “Extraordinary Moms Network”
(http://extraordinarymomsnetwork.wordpress.com)