It seems that everybody is asking me for money these days. Jimmy Carter wrote me a letter about building affordable housing, The Willdlife Fund has assured me that every last panda on Earth will be exterminated unless I send them $25, and for some reason if I don’t send the DNC more money, our very way of life will come to an end. I thought the DNC should be in pretty good shape, but I was mistaken.
This is a normal day for me. I send out little dribbles of money to save the world. It’s not something that I would even mention if I hadn’t received an appeal from another organization.
It started off like this, and I quote….
Your gift to Holt’s Special Needs Adoption Fund will help to offset the adoption expense for a waiting child, and immediately help to make sure the children are united with the loving families they desperately need. We are asking you today for a gift of $50, $100 or more to help a waiting child be adopted, or consider a special gift of $1,934 to help place one child with a loving family in 2009. Your gift will make a huge difference for these children and families!
OK, they want me to give money to help special needs kids around the world. Who could possibly be against helping special needs kids? Certainly not me. I’m all for helping special needs kids.
But wait, this money doesn’t go to the kids, it goes to potential adoptive parents….potential adoptive parents that can’t afford their adoptions. Even special needs adoptions that cost substantially less. It doesn’t go to orphanages to pay for doctors, or therapists, or surgeries. One wonders if they will be hearing from this loving family in the future, after all taking care of a special needs child ain’t cheap. If $1,934 is all that it takes to get the kid home, where are they going to come up with the costs for care, even if they have insurance? Let’s face it, if they can’t put a couple of grand on their MasterCard, how good could their jobs be, even if they have benefits? I really don’t want Holt selling them my name for future reference.
The money goes to some wannabe “family” that doesn’t seem to be aware that there are a whole load of special needs kids that you can adopt for what amounts to almost free. That’s right, if you really took a bath in this recession, there are places that will let you save a kid right here at home. They even come in a variety of colors. Heck if you don’t tell the neighbors, they’ll never know that you got them on the cheap. Just teach the kids a few words of the exotic language of your choice and send them out to play.
No, the money doesn’t pay for help for the kids, it offsets the cost of airfare and a couple of weeks in some Americanized pseudo luxury hotel, and a barbie doll. If they think I’m going to help pay for some entitled potential adoptive parents to stay in accommodations I can’t afford, they are dreaming.
But wait, there’s more…
Charlie was born premature at 28 weeks weighing 2.4 pounds. He continues to have global delays. Charlie will develop more rapidly in the love and nurture of a permanent family and your gift will make a huge difference in our ability to find him that family.
Things do sound bad for Charlie. I’m not really sure why I can’t just give some money to help out Charlie. I think the first thing I’d like to pay for is a name change, he really doesn’t look like a Charlie, that could do wonders for his self esteem. As I’m sure they tell all the potential adopters in pre-adoptive classes, self esteem is key in development.
I think I’ll pass on this one. I still want to help special needs kids and adoptees, but I think I’ll cut out the middle man. There are tons of charities that do great work in every single country that Holt is doing business. Many of them might have even been able to get poor Charlie some help without going through all the trouble of adoption.
I want to help adoptees too. I think I’ll send some money here.