Getting All Adopted

I’ve been an aware and active adult adoptee for a long time. I realized long ago how much adoption has effected my life, I did the anger, the search, the finding, the support of others, the activism, and even a little healing. But sometimes I still get all adopted.

But Addie, you say, you will always be adopted, you know that. Yeah, I do, but there is being adopted, and getting all adopted. And all the adoptees out there, no matter what kind of peace you have or haven’t made with your situation, know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s all the nasty stuff about being adopted coming up from what seems like nowhere. The insecurity, the clinginess combined with the urge to run away, the need for constant reassurance, pretty much all the crappy feelings being adopted can whip on you.

Birthdays, alcohol, pictures of kittens progressing relationships, stubbing your toe,stress, grief, being questioned about adoption by a civilian, and waking up in a bad mood, are all major triggers for adoptedness coming out. And trust me, most of us are aware it’s happening, we just can’t stop it. It’s like a random act of PMS.

I don’t think getting all adopted once in a while means much. When it happens, it usually doesn’t mean we’ve gone off the deep end, never to come back. It just means for one reason or another we’re really feeling being adopted right at that moment. It settles down, we feel better, we can see it for what it really is again. For me, anyway, it’s just part of it.

The good news is, I didn’t get too adopted on my birthday. My adoptee friends know exactly what I’m talking about.

 

All I Want for My Birthday is My Original Birth Certificate and World Peace and a Puppy

Activist Peeps and photo courtesy of the fabulous and recently reunited Jeff Hancock.

Today is my birthday. You know what I want? World peace and a puppy. A cute little puppy that doesn’t chew on things, never piddles on the floor, and never grows up.

Neither one of these things is going to work out, I’m sad and disappointed.

You know what might make me feel better?

My freaking birth certificate.

If I (and all other adoptees), could get their original birth certificate today, it would be the best birthday ever.  I’d be singing from the rooftops and whistling Zip-ee-dee-do-dah out of my ass.

I don’t imagine the Original Birth Certificate thing is going to work out today either.

But since it is my birthday, you can do one thing for me.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, go to the Adoptee Rights Coalition webpage and find out what this is all about.

If you know all about what I’m talking about, go to the Adoptee Rights Coalition webpage and get caught up on the latest news, find out how to get involved, make a donation.

If you really know what I’m talking about, write to one of your lawmakers today. Tell them to support Original Birth Certificate access for all adoptees.

Hey, I’m sitting all alone, without a puppy, and it’s my birthday. Help me out.

 

 

 

Waiting

It seems that most of my life has been about waiting lately. Waiting for this or that to get done, waiting for something to sell, waiting for an email,waiting for a phone call. I’m tired of waiting.

It’s not like I’ve been doing nothing at all, I’ve done a lot. I’m just ready for everything to settle. I’ve gone from being about as hopeless as humanly possible to looking forward to the future. It just doesn’t seem to come fast enough, but then it never has.

I’m an impatient person by nature. Maybe I should see this as a return to my old self, but my sincere desire to get in someone’s face and scream, “C’mon, already!”, has never been my best trait.  I suppose I have to take the good with the bad.

Being ready to move on, and being able to move on, are two different things. You have to get yourself ready to move on, put things in place, but the ability to do so is almost always dependent on others.

Yesterday I did something that I thought would set off a pretty good shit storm.  It didn’t happen. I should have expected this, the very reason I took action was due to their inaction. The pace this outfit runs at would impress a slacker tree sloth living in his parents basement. They function within some kind of Bizzaro World where every action has an equal and opposite non-action. I have no idea how they stay in business.

So I guess I’ll just sit here and wait a while longer. I’m not happy about it.

The Adoptee Rights Demonstration

Something very special is going to happen soon. Adoptees, and those who support them, are going to gather in Chicago at the National Conference of State Legislators and fight for every one of us.  Not only will there be a demonstration, but they be on the convention floor, speaking to the people who can give every adoptee access to their identity, making our case, and, in a real way, changing the lives of US adoptees.

All of this is a huge effort, I know, I was part of it last year. It’s very much a labor of love and commitment to the cause, by organizers and attendees. They all deserve your admiration and support. Go here and learn more. Adoptee Rights Coalition.

A Day In the Life-Photo Blogging the Addie Way

Last night, a  friend of mine threatened to kill me if I started a photo blog. I don’t blame her. I hate the damn things too.

All the real life most of them seem to be chronicling seems very unreal to me. All the “after a very softly focused breakfast of of 3 perfectly ripe strawberries, a croissant they whipped up with butter from the prize-winning super photogenic Jersey cow they keep in the backyard , all served on Royal Doulton, accented by a doily that was hand tatted for Queen Victoria, and then running five miles before going to yoga class on the beach” gets to be a bit much.

I’ve written about a lot of real life on my blog, and most of it isn’t anything like you would see on the thick, perfectly matte pages of an upscale lifestyle magazine. But I did just get a really nice camera, so I thought I’d share my early morning routine. Let’s start with breakfast..

 

 

 

Pretty glamorous, huh. I’ve got CoffeeMate too.

 

 

 

Here’s a shot of the sun coming up from my porch…

With everything so overgrown, you can’t even see my neighbors mobile home, or that I need to spend a good portion of my real life day mowing the yard. Oh and how’s this for the beauty of everyday life? I have to get this thing out of my house…

 

Yep, that’s a furry flying emissary from hell know as the Missouri Brown Bat. I made his acquaintance first thing this morning. I will make every effort to rehome him in the most elegant way befitting the writer of a photoblog. Perhaps I’ll invite him to share a Mimosa in the conservatory, more likely I’ll try to trap him between my broom and dust pan and throw him out the door. I’m thinking I won’t be quick enough to snap a shot of him flying off into his new life, but for you, my gentle readers, I’ll try.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then I believe I will take to my bed.

Envying my lifestyle yet?

 

Sometimes I Feel Like an Athiest

A FaceBook friend of mine posted the clip below. It’s from a public access TV show in Austin called Atheist Experience. This episode is hosted by Tracie Harris and Jen Peeples,both are calm, well-spoken,  and offer sound arguments for their position. The caller seems to be willfully ignorant. It wasn’t so much the subject of the exchange that struck me, but the tone, it all sounded much too familiar.

Te clip was like too many discussions many of us have had concerning adoptee rights. First, the caller assumed the host had had a bad experience, that they just hadn’t found the right church, because if they did, they would agree with him. Sound familiar? Ever been accused of having a bad experience with adoption? When Tracie Harris mentions that she actually had some good experiences in church and her atheism was the result of knowledge she had acquired, it was so much like an adoptee rights activist telling someone that they do love their adoptive parents.

Moving on to the “Why do you even have to have this show?” section, I got that one 100% too. How many times have we been asked the same thing. Just like the hosts, when we point out all the wealthy, well-established institutions (many of the same institutions the atheists are pointing out, in this case) who promote adoption, and justify our right to express our own differing position, it doesn’t matter. We still should just shut up and go with conventional wisdom, because they say so.

Then there’s the whole “it’s a miracle that Gabby Giffords is going to live and recover” thing. To my ear this sounds so much like the “if we can just save one child” argument. I agree with the hosts, it’s great Mrs. Giffords is going to be OK, but it’s no miracle, it’s a tragedy. Many people aren’t OK because of that act, they matter too. The caller just can’t see that. Much like many adopters can’t see that they participated in a system that hurts many, that their little miracle doesn’t make that OK.

Anyway, here’s the clip…

So, anybody else feeling like they’ve been there, done that?