Fovorite Blog Post for Grown In My Heart

This time on the GIMH carnival we are sharing some of out favorite blog posts.

OK, this might seem a bit odd, but I really like this post.  It is so funny, a bit scary, and real.  That’s why I like the great lady that writes this blog so much.  She has a way of making you feel like she has just called you up to let you know what’s going on,even if it’s a bit disturbing, or not at all.  It doesn’t matter.  She shares, and does it honestly.

Tongginator Stalker

First read this, then hook up at the carnival here.

I’m Back and In Trouble Already

I’m Seeing Double and have been sent to the principal’s office over at Grown In My Heart….

Seeing Double at Grown In My Heart.

Other than that, I’m adjusting.

I’m a freshman at a small mid-western university.  I always thought these things were made up, until it happened to me……

Actually I have managed to get myself enrolled in school.  We’ll see how that goes.  More later.

Adoption Poetry and The Earth’s Final Destruction

It’s Carnival time again at Grown In My Heart, this time it’s all about poetry.  You can participate by writing a blog post on the subject and clicking Mr Linky (that always sounds kinda dirty to me, like “Come sit on Mr. Linky’s lap, little girl.” ) right here.

OK, here we go….

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy defines Vogon Poetry as such….

“Vogon poetry is the third worst in the Universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent, of his poem, Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning, four of his audience members died of internal hemorrhaging, and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council, survived by gnawing one of his own legs off… The very worst poetry in the universe died along with its creator, Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex… in the destruction of the planet Earth.”

Though very little of Mrs. Jennings poetry survives, I am certain that she was must have had some connection to adoption.  There could be no other way The Guide would have granted her the distinction of worst poet in the universe.

Adoption brings out the most evil of muses.  That muse that would tempt one to compare not just body parts but bodily functions with the act of filling out paper work.  To entice one to draw parallels between celestial occurrences and bureaucracy. Between one’s arms and a dumpster.

It is almost impossible not to fall into the many traps that lay in wait for the aspiring adoption  poet.  The more passionate the writer, the more dangerous the pitfalls.  The state of mind responsible for one poet to rhyme ‘orphanage’ with ‘mother’s gaze’ is nearly unimaginable.

If for any reason you are tempted to pen a poem about adoption, first call a trusted friend, or seek the support of family or clergy.  You don’t have to be responsible this.  Help is available.

Six Word Memoir For My Mother

Grown In My Heart is doing a Mother’s Day carnival, along with some great prizes, with winners chosen by you, the readers.  Head over here and check it out.  Grown In My Heart .

Basically all you need is a picture of your mom and six little words. It’s tougher than it sounds.

So here goes….

Weather’s here, wish you were fine.

I Wonder If I Can Relinquish Myself?

Since my state continues to treat me like a child that can’t be trusted with my records, I think I’d like to relinquish myself, to the state.  the problem is I don’t want to be a ward of the court.   Since I’m relinquishing myself I think I should be able to pick my new adoptive parents.

I was thinking the governor would be a good choice.  He can afford another kid, and let’s face it, the prestige would be nice.  I think it would be a mutually beneficial relationship.  He could get all kinds of publicity for adopting and I could live in the governor’s mansion.

I think it would be a great way to bring adoptee rights issues home to someone who could do something about it.  At all the family photo ops, conventions, and tree lighting ceremonies I could raise my fist and yell “GIVE ADOPTEES THEIR ORIGINAL BIRTH CERTIFICATES!!”.   I’m betting that could get something done fast.

We all should do it.  Just imagine if all the governors, in all the states that don’t allow equal access for adoptees, had tens of thousands adult adoptees trying to relinquish themselves to them…….

The potential news story.

Addie Pray Nixon, yeah that sounds good.

Did You Know…

..that there are at least 37 distinctive types of dinner forks?

..that in order to get a certificate of ‘no tax owed’ you have to be in the state system?

..that you have to have a certificate of ‘no tax owed’ to get into the state’s system?

..that a flea can jump 350 times it’s body length?

..that Grown In My Heart is planning a big Mother’s Day giveaway?

..that deSoto was the first white guy to see the Mississippi River flood?

..and that the natives weren’t a bit surprised?

..that some cats will eat cheese?

..but not mice?

..that I spend way too much time at Adoptee Fried Chicken?

..that Europeans are adopting american children?

..that adult animals usually make better pets than puppies or kittens

..that puppies and kittens usually make better pets than children?

..the the first SUCCESSFUL parachute jump was made in St Louis, Mo.?

..that there are 500 different kinds of bananas

..but the only one you are familiar with may become extinct in our lifetime?

..that you can get a certificate of ‘no tax owed’ if you say you already have one?

..that no one ever follows their grocery list?

..that I’m getting tired?

Post Racial Adoption Society

This post is part of the Grown In My Heart Adoption Carnival. Anyone can join in.  If you’ve got something, anything to say about Adoption and Racism, get over there and participate.  Just click on Mr. Linky near the bottom of the page.

Like Claudia, I have some reservations about writing about racism in adoption.  I’m at least as white as she is, maybe more.  Try to keep that in mind.

Beyond the obvious, you know, white babies cost more than black babies.  That whole stupid thing that doesn’t make a bit of sense.  Especially since most perspective adoptive parents declare they don’t care what the baby looks like, they just want to raise one.  If that were true, folks would never pay the premium for white kids.  Oh but they do.

I’m not going to get into that.  It makes my head hurt.

I’m not going to cite instances of racism in adoption that I’m all too familiar with.  Other folks can address this better than I can.

I will say that there is a subtle feeling of racism with all things adoption.  I’m not saying that all adoptive parents are racist, or even that most adoption agencies have any kind of overtly racist agenda, I’m just saying it’s out there, and I think it’s something many of us feel. It’s that insidious non-specific kind of racism that comes all mixed up with privilege and money.

You hear a lot about how we are living in a larger post racial society.  I think that fact is, as best, debatable and more likely total bullshit, at least for a good portion of the population.  I know we aren’t in a post racial adoption society. In adoption race issues are obvious, and discussed frequently.  We know color blind doesn’t exist, we know everybody doesn’t come into the game on equal footing, we know it’s more complicated than that.

I think we know this because we have to deal with it.  We can’t just declare that we are done with all that stuff.  Maybe that’s good, we are at least not BSing ourselves.

Do we have any kind of understanding?  I’m not sure. But at least I think we are trying.

We should try harder.

Things That Need Reform….

This post is part of Grown In My Heart‘s blog Carnival.  Anyone can participate, get hooked up here.  Mr. Linky

Things that need reform, as simply as possible….

Birth Certificate Access

C’mon people, this is obvious.  The sky has not fallen where access by adult adoptees to their original birth certificate has been granted.  It’s simple, and it’s the right thing to do.  Which leads to….

Uniform regulations on all adoptions

Honestly, it’s like the wild west out there. It doesn’t matter if we are talking about adult adoptee issues, foster care adoption, agency adoption, private adoption, international adoption, anything adoption related.  When the first thing you have to ask someone is “Where are you at?” there is something very wrong. We are talking about human beings here.  Can we come to some general guidelines please?

Yeah I know, I’m dreaming. So what?  You asked me.

Doing just these two things would do more to make adoption more ethical and humane than anything else.  Honesty, equal rights for all involved, and a standard set of rules.  Simple and beautiful.

There are many specific things that need to be changed in adoption, but most could be cleared up if these two things were in effect.  If it’s about the children, and I have to think the adults these children become, give us our rights and a standard way to access them.  Not only would this make things better for those already adopted, it would make things better for future adoptees, and those who relinquish, or adopt.  From every perspective in what is good for adoptees is good for everyone.