I Live In the the State of Stupid or Why Snake Handling and Cousin Fucking are No Substitute for Satire

After waking very pleasantly this morning, I commenced with my morning routine. This involves drinking a whole lot of coffee, reading online news sources and making disparaging comments about whatever idiot idea Joe Scarborough is pontificating on at the moment. Like I said, I feeling good, looking forward to a beautiful early fall day in Missouri, when I saw this…

Missouri local school board ends ban on Slaughterhouse Five

12:46am EDT

By Kevin Murphy

KANSAS CITY, Missouri (Reuters) – A school board in southwest Missouri on Monday restored two books it had banned from public schools for being contrary to teachings in the Bible.

The Republic School Board voted 6-0 to make the two books – “Slaughterhouse-Five” and “Twenty Boy Summer” – available to students for independent reading as long as they are kept in a secure section of the school library.

Only parents or guardians can check them out.

Under a policy the board adopted in July, teachers still cannot make the books required reading nor read them aloud in school. The old policy had removed the books from the school altogether.

The novel Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut is a satirical account of the bombing of Dresden, Germany, during World War II. Some people object to violence, language and sexual material in the book.

“Twenty Boy Summer,” by Sarah Ockler, is about young people and sexual relationships.

Area resident Wesley Scroggins, a Missouri State University associate business professor, objected to those books and other materials he said “create false conceptions of American history and government and or that teach principles contrary to Biblical morality and truth.”

Several anti-censorship organizations, such as the American Civil Liberties Union, sharply criticized the book ban, which received national attention.

In August, The Kurt Vonnegut Memorial Library in Indianapolis offered up to 150 copies of “Slaughterhouse-Five” to any Republic students who wanted to read it.

(Edited by Peter Bohan)

When I read the headline I thought, “Good, it’s hard enough to live in a state in which the current media exposure consists of a semi-reality series about running a truck stop, (yeah, I’ve been there, don’t judge me) without the anti-intellectual drama of book banning.” Then I read the article.

Seriously, Missouri? Mommy has to check out a Kurt Vonnegut novel for you?

And who is this Wesley Scroggins? Has anyone checked on this moron’s credentials? If this guy actually has higher education, he is a testament to the worthlessness of business degrees these days and possibly the value of any degree from Missouri State University.

Mr. Scroggins, since you you apparently busy with an Ol’ Time Religion Snake Handling and Cousin Fucking Tent Revival the week they covered this, let me give you a clue, education is not about indoctrination, it’s about exposure to ideas. Good education allows the student to form their own ideas and philosophies. Your personal beliefs are irrelevant in this context. It’s not a complicated concept, you should be able to grasp it, even if the more complicated concept of satire is something I’m sure will always elude you.

If you were capable of understanding satire, you would, no doubt, see the humor in your situation.

You say allowing young minds to be exposed to the content of these two books would, “create false conceptions of American history and government and or that teach principles contrary to Biblical morality and truth.” Really? Because you should know that history is an always developing discipline, encompassing opposing viewpoints of how history should be interpreted. Not to mention you work for a secular institution, supported by a government who at its very heart separates church and state. Are you seeing the humor here yet? 
Mr, Scroggins, you are at best ignorant, and at worst profiting from an institution that promotes ideas contrary to your own values. Either way, you do not belong there. I suggest you become a lay preacher at a truck stop.
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